I want to chat with you about weight gain and pregnancy. In total transparency struggled with my weight a lot at the beginning of my pregnancy. I ate an 80/20 diet so 80% pretty good and 20%… you know some treats. I was working out every day and I was seeing the scale just skyrocket at the beginning of my pregnancy.

And, before my pregnancy, I had suffered from a miscarriage, and infertility, and being that I just had a near to death accident… you know my pregnancy was sort of a miracle to begin with. So, the feelings of feeling bad about my weight gain compounded into  “Oh my God so many people can’t get pregnant. And here I am complaining about my weight gain. I am a bad person”. I can’t even tell you how bad I felt about myself. For feeling bad about my weight gain, right? Like it was a really hard emotional time for me in the beginning.

I am in a lot of pregnancy groups, and I talk to a lot of women, and I see the same kind of post over and over again, that they struggle with the weight gain.

They talk about how hard it is for them gaining all of this weight. Like how hard it is emotionally and you know they are not eating Ben and Jerry’s every night and they are working out every day like why is it happening?!  I want you guys to give yourself some grace, and understand that you are growing another human being which in itself is amazing.

I am a recovering binge eater and a diet pill addict, I still struggle with it. And what was happening in those first 16 weeks of my pregnancy as I was feeling those like crazy habits I had come back. I was weighing myself every day. I was like crazy about what I was eating. I was feeling like I wanted to binge. And I am like: “Oh my God this can’t be happening to me.”

So, the next time I went to the doctor, I told her. I was like listen like I know my weight gain is high. I know I shouldn’t have by medical standards gained this much this early in my pregnancy. But, this is what’s happening and this is how it is affecting my mental state. And, my midwife straight up was like: “You need a throw your scale away.” Done. Throw it away. So, I went home and I threw my scale away. And she said to me, “Listen, when you come in we have to weight you, but I am not going to tell you what your weight and don’t look, and that’s fine. And if I see a problem, and I will let you know.” And it is so hard because the doctors give you like a this is how much you should gain. I think for me because I was like in the normal weight range, It was like 25-35 pounds. I have gained almost 50 pounds. And people probably will say like: “Oh my God you don’t look like you have gained that much.” I look in the mirror, I actually don’t feel like I gained that much but I have.

I have come to mental terms with it. Anyone who is out there struggling with their weight gain during pregnancy, I have been there. I battled through it those first 4 months. It was so hard for me. And then, like I said, then the feelings compounded because I know that being pregnant is a blessing and that not everyone has that ability. And I was like” “Oh my God now I feel guilty for feeling bad about my weight” and it was just this horrible feeling that I have for myself. So, I started calling myself chubby and grateful. Right? Because I was so grateful to be pregnant, but I felt so chubby.

And I have continued to take care of myself during my pregnancy. I have not eaten Ben and Jerry’s every night. And I workout 7 days a week. If you are feeling like: “Oh my God like this weight gain is killing me”, please, please, please talk to your doctor. Have a conversation.

I am not a doctor so I am not going to be like “Throw your scale.” But that’s what I did. I talked to my midwife and she said: “Scale goes in the garbage. I will weigh you when you are here. If I see an issue, I will let you know.” Guess what? At 45 pounds of weight in 37 weeks… there is still no issue. So don’t worry about it. DO NOT worry about it.

If anyone wants to chat, reach out to me. I have a very safe group, it is called Beyond the Bump and it is for moms, and moms-to-be, and moms who maybe someday want to be. My one rule is: Don’t be an asshole. If you are an asshole, get booted. And guess what I haven’t had anyone booted yet.

Sometimes you can tell and sometimes not so much!

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