Shit No One Tells You About Being Pregnant – Jillian Kaplan

Being Pregnant IS HARD. There I said it. It’s a miracle and it’s something to be thankful for but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

This is not my normal post but I had to share all the shit I have learned being pregnant ?that NO ONE tells you! I am 1 day over my due date and I wanted to make sure I shared this because y’all have a right to know!

You are supposed to glow, feel gorgeous and have this perfectly round bump. Let me be the first to tell you, that is not reality. So let’s go through my list…

  1. You will gain weight ALL over, not just in your belly. I am pretty sure I am not carrying a baby in my arm pits
  2. Your nipples get dark, huge and weird…they are totally freaky
  3. You get SO tired yet can’t sleep
  4. Don’t bother trying to jump, you WILL pee yourself
  5. Also don’t bother sneezing, you WILL pee yourself
  6. You get hair where you never had hair before
  7. You get a weird line up the middle of your belly
  8. Puking
  9. Heartburn
  10. Random smells making you gag
  11. The hormones, stupid shit sends you into a tizzy
  12. You cry, a lot and randomly
  13. There are about 1001 things that can go wrong and you can get diagnosed with, most of them are nothing but it seems like doctors have a term for everything
  14. Random people will tell you what not to do and what to do, they will also tell you the things you are doing are killing your baby
  15. Stay off google because it will tell you anything you ingest or put on your body is going to harm or kill your baby, remember: crack heads have healthy babies on toilets
  16. Your belly button gets WEIRD and crazy
  17. The cellulite and stretch marks are FIERCE
  18. You cannot wear your pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital
  19. You will not feel beautiful all the time, that is OK
  20. You cannot even bend over to tie your shoes at the end and if you drop something, forget about it
  21. GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE, you are growing a human and being pregnant is HARD
  22. And my latest from today, you may THINK your water broke but intact you just unknowingly peed yourself when you stood up

How we imagine pregnancy <3

Reality…

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